The clock is ticking. One more year. Everything is turning to shit and you have one more year to turn things around. What do you do? Take stock and look around you. Civil unrest in Tunisia and Egypt. Floods in India, Australia and Haiti. Ireland's gone down the sink and the Tories are back in Britain, sneaked in on a liberal ticket. Obama's gone from saviour to just, well, not the messiah. Optimism in the ranks is at an all time low. We 're all going to Hell in the same hand cart. The same hand cart that sponsors freezer-fave Iceland, which in turn sponsors I'm A Celebrity. Which in turn sponsors us all, since we're all celebrities in this modern age of 15 minute fame wet-patches. Tweet this, tweet that, we're all becoming such insufferable twats. #Twat I may be, but I got, like, 12 Likes from that dig! Oh Yeah!
One more year. I only say one more year through that whole Mayan calendar thing, which gives us until 2012 December, or something, but in all honesty if that doesn't mean the end of days I might just fucking do myself anyways. I hate you all, and there's not very many of you's that I think give a fuck about me. That's the nature of this day and age though. The internet, Facebook and Twitter have brought us all closer together in communication, but not in actual interaction. We all sit here, by our laptops, computers and fancy mobiles, closer in this age of communication, and have never been further apart. I PMSL that you like that Im drunk, and ROTFL that you LOL, but time is that I've forgotten what you look like, and all I picture is a monkey laughing, flinging shit from its hairy paws. A faeces flinging freak beast that caws like a bird. Yeah, a monkey that shrieks like a crow, that's what your avatar is to me. Defriend me! OMG! No wait, come back, you were the one who took my friend count over 200! That must mean I'm popular! Stone the crows though! What do I see, but you, with your 500 friends! Turns out I was wrong, and I always thought you were a special breed of cunt! Please accept my friend request, you'll take me up over 200! I need you in my life! And you're a cunt, so you probably will anyways, just to make yourself look better!
Where to next then? While the world crumbles, where to, super special media friend? Shall we discuss Berlusconi, and his predeliction for getting laid while his country becomes more and more right-wing? Monkey chants at football games, proper '80s style hooliganism of an ilk the Brits are fondly remembered for? Not even dipping into the whole legal age of consent thing, since 13 is the age in Vatican City, so God doesnt care for a slippery lizard paying a child for fuck. Nah, won't happen. Who cares?! Here's a picture of Timmy passed out, and everyone has graffitied him, ha haaa! PMSL. Do keep me on your list though, we can be ignorant together, and you know what they say about strength in numbers...
Timmy deserved it though, the fucking lightweight. Some men cant do booze. Wish I was drinking with him, but I'm not, I'm just nosying in on the pictures and words of a night out I wasn't at. I'd HaHaa! it, but in this day and age words and sentences dont work reeeel good massur, so ROFL. The world collapes in on its arse, while we trade pictures. The clock is ticking, we'll all be dead in a year, so stop Rolling On The Floor Laughing, and start being honest.
You're all cunts.
